So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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