Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
