Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize