Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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