Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
