I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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