let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
