i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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