So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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