And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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