Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
