this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
