You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
