Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
where does the pee come out of this thing
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
