new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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