remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
