oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
