I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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