Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
