Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
