tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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