we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
