I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize