Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
