You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
