The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
