I CAN MOONWALK!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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