Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
