you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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