Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
