Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
