I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
