Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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