I cockslap morals
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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