Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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