HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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