is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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