Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My vagina is officially offended.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
