You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
