Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
