did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
