one word: firstdatebathroomanal
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
