I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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