Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize