I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
