Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
