i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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