4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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