Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
