so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
