the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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