I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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