it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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