we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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