we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
