sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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