I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
