So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
