You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
