i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
