Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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