awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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