Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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