hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
