I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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