STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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