I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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