He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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