Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
