you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
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Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
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We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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